There is not better time of year than the month of Christmas. It begins the day after Thanksgiving and ends on Christmas Day (although it is ok to have decorations up until New Year's Day). This month is filled with festive music, lots of sugary food, and a general feeling of goodwill towards the world around you. Although it is highly commercialized, there are certainly moments of peace and joy which stand out from the rest. Small gestures of kindness or service become observably apparent. The rare gifts of a smile are worth more than any present wrapped under the tree.
Family traditions bring cousins, siblings, parents and all other members closer together. Afternoons full of baking cookies or wading through the hordes at shopping malls echo year after years as resounding memories. The smell of pine, cinnamon and orange seep through the house. A decorated tree covered in brilliant lights, each ornament a symbol of years gone by.
But the best traditions are ones you share year after year and grow to include an ever expanding family. Our family has some very specific traditions. A feast on Christmas Eve while dressed in our absolute finest, reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 by the most recent or upcoming missionary and a family toast, singing songs with Santa when he comes (and even having to sit on his lap every year, but you get a present) and opening gifts from the extended family. It is a night like no other, and almost makes the next day feel like a let-down. So much incredible food and fun with the family makes the Eve of a holiday far more exciting than the actual day itself.
But at the end of the day, nostalgic memories of youth mingled with the promise of next year linger on crisp December air and all await the beginning of the season again.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
fair-weather friends
Since I highly doubt anyone reads these, I have no qualms about taking a post to rant. I know I am not the perfect friend. A recent conversation enlightened me to just how far I had let one friendship fall. Thanks to the other person's bluntness (a refreshing change of pace in the world, I might add), it might not be too late to salvage it. I have just one nagging issue that has been building up for years. I have never had a true best friend.
What that ends up meaning, is for years I have always had to be the one to call friends when I want to hang out. I'm always the one to extend the hand of friendship. I firmly believe that 80% of my friends only remain that way because I put effort into the relationship. It has been this way my ENTIRE life. I really try to be there for people. I listen when they need it, and I give them advice when they need it, but don't want it. I care about them, and I let them talk about their lives. Granted, in the past few years, I have opened up enough that I talk about myself more too. But the point I'm trying to make, is that in general I try to be a good friend.
But the sad truth is that no one has ever done the same for me. I have never had a friend that I could call up anytime I needed anything, to talk about anything, or one who would call me because they knew something was wrong. It is a rare occasion that someone else calls me to hang out. If I have a social life, its only because I feel I have to drag my people by their teeth to my house. It makes me feel a bit like a carpet that I let people walk all over. But on the other hand, I don't really feel that I have any other choice.
I joke that I must be storing up karma somewhere and that I must have some perfectly incredible husband waiting. I guess that if I am always there for everyone else, someday someone might be there for me.
What that ends up meaning, is for years I have always had to be the one to call friends when I want to hang out. I'm always the one to extend the hand of friendship. I firmly believe that 80% of my friends only remain that way because I put effort into the relationship. It has been this way my ENTIRE life. I really try to be there for people. I listen when they need it, and I give them advice when they need it, but don't want it. I care about them, and I let them talk about their lives. Granted, in the past few years, I have opened up enough that I talk about myself more too. But the point I'm trying to make, is that in general I try to be a good friend.
But the sad truth is that no one has ever done the same for me. I have never had a friend that I could call up anytime I needed anything, to talk about anything, or one who would call me because they knew something was wrong. It is a rare occasion that someone else calls me to hang out. If I have a social life, its only because I feel I have to drag my people by their teeth to my house. It makes me feel a bit like a carpet that I let people walk all over. But on the other hand, I don't really feel that I have any other choice.
I joke that I must be storing up karma somewhere and that I must have some perfectly incredible husband waiting. I guess that if I am always there for everyone else, someday someone might be there for me.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Notre Dame de Paris--The Concert
Imagine my delight and surprise while searching the web for clips from the musical, that I stumble upon a website advertising a concert......with the ENTIRE original cast from Paris................Playing all the songs from the musical (I think....the French translation was a little vague on what is actually being performed)........for one short tour just before Christmas! I was absolutely ecstatic! Who would have thought that this would ever happen! In 12 years, there has not been a reunion. It took a little digging online, but then I came across a Russian site and with some "help" from Google Chrome (not sure how helpful it was) I found out that for 4 shows, this entire thing was going down. BUT there was a catch--Russia.
Why the cast/producers/anyone would choose to host this in Russia is absolutely beyond me. I personally have nothing against Russia, and I actually plan on visiting it one day. But right now it is kind of a dangerous and expensive place. One would have assumed that if the cast of NDdP were to do a reunion concert of some sort, that it would be in Paris or Quebec. Alas, such was not the case. Undeterred, and uninformed as to just how crazy an idea this was, I looked up ticket prices and availability, and hotel information and compared the dates to my schedule. And wouldn't you know, one of the shows fit perfectly with my schedule. I would only miss the last day of class to fly there and come back a day before any of my finals. Granted, the timing of this (the weekend before finals) was not the most perfect, but it was definitely workable.
There was only one way that this could possibly work, and it would be to have the trip be my Christmas present. However, I thought I was clever and found a way to make it work. By using my Dad's frequent flier miles and hotel points the actual travel would be nearly free. If I bought the ticket myself, I couldn't feel guilty asking for this present that would cost so little. There was, of course, the slight problem of going my myself, but I figured that I would probably be ok.
When I sent my parents the proposition, I think that they did think carefully and weigh the options. The major issues of going alone and being in Russia were the major hang-ups. I couldn't go alone. That much was certain, but as it turned out, my dad couldn't go with me. The effort, time and money to get him the proper visa was astronomical. Also, the information regarding the true dangers of Russia in its current state for American tourists was enough for my parents to, reluctantly, crush my dream. For a few glorious days, I was able to hold to a dream that I would get to experience this once-in-a-lifetime show.
It was really hard for me to try and explain this to other people. Its just a show, a musical, and its all in French. Why is this such a big deal? I came to the conclusion that when something is beautiful and sweet and powerful in a way that speaks to your soul, there are no words to describe its meaning. I could not say it, because it was not something within the petty scope of spoken word.
Below are some links to pieces of the show that were posted online. I can only hope and pray, with the rest of the world, that the troupe decides to come to a place where more of their worldwide fans can come. I wait with baited breath and hope in my heart.
Long clip of the second act: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3TGQHYJR8
Song "Belle"--Best song in the WHOLE WORLD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv6Xd-9rwnw&feature=related
And just for kick and giggles, here is the link to the original version of Belle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXeXBpTVOk
p.s. I have to be honest. I like the original version of most of the songs in the play better. But the concert still looks AWESOME! I would sell my firstborn child to go to that show!
Why the cast/producers/anyone would choose to host this in Russia is absolutely beyond me. I personally have nothing against Russia, and I actually plan on visiting it one day. But right now it is kind of a dangerous and expensive place. One would have assumed that if the cast of NDdP were to do a reunion concert of some sort, that it would be in Paris or Quebec. Alas, such was not the case. Undeterred, and uninformed as to just how crazy an idea this was, I looked up ticket prices and availability, and hotel information and compared the dates to my schedule. And wouldn't you know, one of the shows fit perfectly with my schedule. I would only miss the last day of class to fly there and come back a day before any of my finals. Granted, the timing of this (the weekend before finals) was not the most perfect, but it was definitely workable.
There was only one way that this could possibly work, and it would be to have the trip be my Christmas present. However, I thought I was clever and found a way to make it work. By using my Dad's frequent flier miles and hotel points the actual travel would be nearly free. If I bought the ticket myself, I couldn't feel guilty asking for this present that would cost so little. There was, of course, the slight problem of going my myself, but I figured that I would probably be ok.
When I sent my parents the proposition, I think that they did think carefully and weigh the options. The major issues of going alone and being in Russia were the major hang-ups. I couldn't go alone. That much was certain, but as it turned out, my dad couldn't go with me. The effort, time and money to get him the proper visa was astronomical. Also, the information regarding the true dangers of Russia in its current state for American tourists was enough for my parents to, reluctantly, crush my dream. For a few glorious days, I was able to hold to a dream that I would get to experience this once-in-a-lifetime show.
It was really hard for me to try and explain this to other people. Its just a show, a musical, and its all in French. Why is this such a big deal? I came to the conclusion that when something is beautiful and sweet and powerful in a way that speaks to your soul, there are no words to describe its meaning. I could not say it, because it was not something within the petty scope of spoken word.
Below are some links to pieces of the show that were posted online. I can only hope and pray, with the rest of the world, that the troupe decides to come to a place where more of their worldwide fans can come. I wait with baited breath and hope in my heart.
Long clip of the second act: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3TGQHYJR8
Song "Belle"--Best song in the WHOLE WORLD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv6Xd-9rwnw&feature=related
And just for kick and giggles, here is the link to the original version of Belle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXeXBpTVOk
p.s. I have to be honest. I like the original version of most of the songs in the play better. But the concert still looks AWESOME! I would sell my firstborn child to go to that show!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Vampire Overload
I (along with the rest of the literate world) have noticed the explosion of vampire, and vampire-related books catering to the teenage populace within the last couple of years. I have to state, for the record, that I was a fan of this type of book LONG before Twilight shook things up. I openly admit that I am a fan of Stephenie Meyer's work as is pertains to her audience. While her writing itself may be lacking, I agree that her storytelling ability is unparalleled. The obsessive nature of her fan base speaks to that. I read the books. I enjoyed reading the books. I continue to re-read the books, albeit on rare occasions, and still enjoy them. I'm not too partial to the movies, and I have never considered myself a hard-core fan. Granted, I have been to every midnight showing for the movies......but that can only be attributed to how good a friend I am. Part of me is amused by the shock that men seem to have concerning the obsessive nature of the fan-base. Obviously they don't understand teenage girls very well.
However, I am a much bigger fan of several different series of books (all vampire related) which rank above the Twilight saga on my list. I do love a creepy and somewhat gruesome approach, but in general I stick to vampires that are more likable. The first time I brought a vampire related book home, my mom completely flipped. She still doesn't like my compulsive desire to read them.....
My favorite series of all time is the Night World series by L.J. Smith. I came across these books at the public library when I was somewhere near 8 years old. They are a tribute to the horror/romance genre into which so many vampiric novels seem to fall. Generally, the stories are short and sweet but they keep you in suspense and the series builds from a simple construct to an apocalypic finale. I love the concept of the soulmate principal, and how it becomes the tie for human-vampire relationships. But this fantasy world is not solely populated with blood-sucking, beautiful fiends. There are good and bad witches, shapeshifters, werewolves and a myriad of other creatures who haunt the night. The only downside to this series is that, 12 years after the publication of the 9th book, the 10th and final one is still to be released. Talk about keeping your fans in suspense! I continually check her blog to see if there are any changes to this uncompleted status. Alas, it is still pending in an unpublished (and possibly unwritten) state.
Next on my list is a fairly recent series by Richelle Mead titled Vampire Academy. My older sister gifted me the first two books in the series as a birthday present in March, and I have consumed the entire series since then. The final book was only released last week. This 6 book series creates a new and exciting universe for vampires....one with half-human/half-vampire combination along with drawing on existing ancient cultural folklore for the vampire characters. Although this series is primarily aimed at females (as most are) the strong leads are not the whiny helpless characters often loathed as protagonists. An apt and intelligent writer, Mead captivates an audience with a story that takes place in a world of the supernatural, but is not consumed with it. To give credit, This series started long before Twilight became popular, and it is not meant to ride the coat-tails of the teen vampire book movement. This series stands on its own two feet, and can cause a reader to sit up and take notice. I am excited for the spin-off series and can't wait to get my hands on anything else she has written.
The most classic of all vampire authors has to be Anne Rice. Her classic tale of Interview With a Vampire is heart wrenching and mentally exhausting in a way that more books should be. Too often the portrayal of a vampires in society are too human, and Rice addresses this directly. Her exploration of what it would actually mean to become a vampire and the loss of humanity is enthralling and intriguing. All of her related stories simply add to the amazing story. She does not sugar coat or make pretty anything. If you want to read about real vampires, she is the one to look up.
However, I am a much bigger fan of several different series of books (all vampire related) which rank above the Twilight saga on my list. I do love a creepy and somewhat gruesome approach, but in general I stick to vampires that are more likable. The first time I brought a vampire related book home, my mom completely flipped. She still doesn't like my compulsive desire to read them.....
My favorite series of all time is the Night World series by L.J. Smith. I came across these books at the public library when I was somewhere near 8 years old. They are a tribute to the horror/romance genre into which so many vampiric novels seem to fall. Generally, the stories are short and sweet but they keep you in suspense and the series builds from a simple construct to an apocalypic finale. I love the concept of the soulmate principal, and how it becomes the tie for human-vampire relationships. But this fantasy world is not solely populated with blood-sucking, beautiful fiends. There are good and bad witches, shapeshifters, werewolves and a myriad of other creatures who haunt the night. The only downside to this series is that, 12 years after the publication of the 9th book, the 10th and final one is still to be released. Talk about keeping your fans in suspense! I continually check her blog to see if there are any changes to this uncompleted status. Alas, it is still pending in an unpublished (and possibly unwritten) state.
Next on my list is a fairly recent series by Richelle Mead titled Vampire Academy. My older sister gifted me the first two books in the series as a birthday present in March, and I have consumed the entire series since then. The final book was only released last week. This 6 book series creates a new and exciting universe for vampires....one with half-human/half-vampire combination along with drawing on existing ancient cultural folklore for the vampire characters. Although this series is primarily aimed at females (as most are) the strong leads are not the whiny helpless characters often loathed as protagonists. An apt and intelligent writer, Mead captivates an audience with a story that takes place in a world of the supernatural, but is not consumed with it. To give credit, This series started long before Twilight became popular, and it is not meant to ride the coat-tails of the teen vampire book movement. This series stands on its own two feet, and can cause a reader to sit up and take notice. I am excited for the spin-off series and can't wait to get my hands on anything else she has written.
The most classic of all vampire authors has to be Anne Rice. Her classic tale of Interview With a Vampire is heart wrenching and mentally exhausting in a way that more books should be. Too often the portrayal of a vampires in society are too human, and Rice addresses this directly. Her exploration of what it would actually mean to become a vampire and the loss of humanity is enthralling and intriguing. All of her related stories simply add to the amazing story. She does not sugar coat or make pretty anything. If you want to read about real vampires, she is the one to look up.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sing to Me
I originally just titled this blog as "Josh Groban" but felt it was a little stupid. But he is in fact the subject of this post. His new album Illuminations came out on Monday and I am absolutely transfixed! He has the voice of an angel and there is something about singing in another language that just makes me melt. I'm sure my Mom thinks I'm a little crazy. How many people do you know who blast Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli while they do physics on a whiteboard in their room?
This type of music has recently become my favorite. I love the smooth vocal and instrumental arrangements. Most of the popular mainstream music is often a compilation where the instruments, or beat, or any other part of the music completely overpowers the vocals. As a female, I know that I most often appreciate a song for the lyrics or the mood and not so much the beat or energy.
And as I said earlier.......there is something about singing in Italian/French/Portuguese/Spanish that is simply irresistible from these men. I know that I generally disposed to men who are.....nerdy.....however, I would not find myself refusing a man who could sing to me like that!
This type of music has recently become my favorite. I love the smooth vocal and instrumental arrangements. Most of the popular mainstream music is often a compilation where the instruments, or beat, or any other part of the music completely overpowers the vocals. As a female, I know that I most often appreciate a song for the lyrics or the mood and not so much the beat or energy.
And as I said earlier.......there is something about singing in Italian/French/Portuguese/Spanish that is simply irresistible from these men. I know that I generally disposed to men who are.....nerdy.....however, I would not find myself refusing a man who could sing to me like that!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Au Pair
After being rejected from NASA (at least that specific internship) because I am not an engineer, I have decided to do something else with my summer while I contemplate my future. With my newly rediscovered love of French, I am thinking about applying to be an Au Pair over the summer.
I have always wanted to stay on my own in another country (or anywhere other than my hometown) and this appears to be a great opportunity. Currently, my French is not up to par with living there but I think that I can change that with a little bit of work. I almost wish I had kept more of the French notes that I had from school.
The application to the program is a little intense. I am struggling with writing 500 words to the program and potential host family about myself, my qualifications and when I expect from the program IN FRENCH. Google translate is good to help with words and phrases when I get stuck, but I feel completely incompetent. I wish I could speak as well as I understand.
I wish I could just contact someone and do this directly rather than have to go through a program, but the accredited part means that I won't get ripped off in the end. I am excited to think that I may be able to spend an entire summer in Paris! That would be fantastic....even though I would not get paid very much. Given the loss of my scholarship last semester (keeping a 3.7 in college is rough in the physics department) and my current scarcity of funds I hope this is somewhat reasonable. It would most definitely be a one in a lifetime experience.
I have always wanted to stay on my own in another country (or anywhere other than my hometown) and this appears to be a great opportunity. Currently, my French is not up to par with living there but I think that I can change that with a little bit of work. I almost wish I had kept more of the French notes that I had from school.
The application to the program is a little intense. I am struggling with writing 500 words to the program and potential host family about myself, my qualifications and when I expect from the program IN FRENCH. Google translate is good to help with words and phrases when I get stuck, but I feel completely incompetent. I wish I could speak as well as I understand.
I wish I could just contact someone and do this directly rather than have to go through a program, but the accredited part means that I won't get ripped off in the end. I am excited to think that I may be able to spend an entire summer in Paris! That would be fantastic....even though I would not get paid very much. Given the loss of my scholarship last semester (keeping a 3.7 in college is rough in the physics department) and my current scarcity of funds I hope this is somewhat reasonable. It would most definitely be a one in a lifetime experience.
Monday, November 8, 2010
le mot que je désire
When I took French in Jr. high from the illustrious Mr. Baigue, I learned to love the language. I never did develop of love for French classes however. The immersion method he employed resulted in a heightened understanding of the construct, but was not as enabling in the actual practice of speech. There are several things for which I am eternally grateful to him for. The first is introducing me to the language. If I had been in a class where the teacher insisted on grammatical complications and memorizing verb conjugation, I can guarantee that I would have become vehemently disenchanted. As this was not the case, I developed a taste for languages. I wish that this had extended to a natural ability to speak other languages, but alas, it has yet to be so.
The second thing I an grateful for is for introducing me to the musical Notre Dame de Paris. This adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel by the same name is one of the greatest masterpieces of art in music I have ever experienced. The beauty of language and culture is showcased on a grand scale that left an impression on my 14-year-old self that has yet to fade. As I listen to the soundtrack (which has been on my ipod for years) I still get a secret thrill from the melodies and envision the vague images I remember from watching the filmed production so many years ago.
This belle langue has faded in and out of my life for years. Since high school, I have not had many opportunities to practice speaking (although that has always been the more difficult part for me). I wish in some part that I could move to France, for several reasons, and become fluent. Sadly, I don't see that happening any time soon and I will have to continue settling for watching the filmed production of Notre Dame de Paris (that I just ordered off Amazon.com) and listening to Lara Fabian, Bruno Coulais, and the other French artists of my collection.
The second thing I an grateful for is for introducing me to the musical Notre Dame de Paris. This adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel by the same name is one of the greatest masterpieces of art in music I have ever experienced. The beauty of language and culture is showcased on a grand scale that left an impression on my 14-year-old self that has yet to fade. As I listen to the soundtrack (which has been on my ipod for years) I still get a secret thrill from the melodies and envision the vague images I remember from watching the filmed production so many years ago.
This belle langue has faded in and out of my life for years. Since high school, I have not had many opportunities to practice speaking (although that has always been the more difficult part for me). I wish in some part that I could move to France, for several reasons, and become fluent. Sadly, I don't see that happening any time soon and I will have to continue settling for watching the filmed production of Notre Dame de Paris (that I just ordered off Amazon.com) and listening to Lara Fabian, Bruno Coulais, and the other French artists of my collection.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Like a Chicken
As my last name would imply, I have the dubious privilege of using the word "chicken" in whatever context I desire. This fact, however, is completely irrelevant to my post.
I know that I have always had a bit of a problem with trying to do to much and not being able to ask for help. I like to think that I can do everything on my own. Its not like I'm trying to be superwoman, but I like to be independent and take care of myself. There is a bit of me that is very proud and doesn't like to admit that I can't actually do everything. But I don't let it hinder me, for the most part, when I am in dire straits. I think that I enjoy, in a very perverse and masochistic way, being so busy I can't think straight. For one thing, I feel incredibly productive because I am always doing something. I like being able to look at what I have accomplished and see the good it does, either for me or anyone else. This tendency has also nearly been my undoing on many occasions.
It didn't take me very long to figure out that college classes were different than high school. Some ways were good, others were a little frustrating. This did not deter me from plowing full steam ahead with a full class load, working 20 hrs a week and tutoring math in my spare time. Over the course of time this load has only increased to include a calling as the president of my sorority, boyfriends from time to time, as well as volunteering in the Human Performance Lab at the U. Most of the time, I am pretty good with effective time management. I even let myself be lazy on occasion. Other times, my entire world falls to pieces and it all comes crashing down together around my ears. Right now, things are hanging in a precarious balance.
Given a slight breakdown last night, I think I might be on the verge of a major collapse. I might end up running around like a chicken with its head cut off (hence the title) but at least I know that it is by my own choice. Its at times like theses that I have to seriously reflect on my choices and paths I follow. Is this academic career something I can actually handle? Am I crazy? The answer is yes to both questions. I am crazy. Exactly crazy enough to do what I set my heart and mind on. So even if I fall apart a couple times along the way, I get to learn how to puck myself up, take the helping hands that are offered to me and learn from my mistakes. Its the only thing I can do.
I know that I have always had a bit of a problem with trying to do to much and not being able to ask for help. I like to think that I can do everything on my own. Its not like I'm trying to be superwoman, but I like to be independent and take care of myself. There is a bit of me that is very proud and doesn't like to admit that I can't actually do everything. But I don't let it hinder me, for the most part, when I am in dire straits. I think that I enjoy, in a very perverse and masochistic way, being so busy I can't think straight. For one thing, I feel incredibly productive because I am always doing something. I like being able to look at what I have accomplished and see the good it does, either for me or anyone else. This tendency has also nearly been my undoing on many occasions.
It didn't take me very long to figure out that college classes were different than high school. Some ways were good, others were a little frustrating. This did not deter me from plowing full steam ahead with a full class load, working 20 hrs a week and tutoring math in my spare time. Over the course of time this load has only increased to include a calling as the president of my sorority, boyfriends from time to time, as well as volunteering in the Human Performance Lab at the U. Most of the time, I am pretty good with effective time management. I even let myself be lazy on occasion. Other times, my entire world falls to pieces and it all comes crashing down together around my ears. Right now, things are hanging in a precarious balance.
Given a slight breakdown last night, I think I might be on the verge of a major collapse. I might end up running around like a chicken with its head cut off (hence the title) but at least I know that it is by my own choice. Its at times like theses that I have to seriously reflect on my choices and paths I follow. Is this academic career something I can actually handle? Am I crazy? The answer is yes to both questions. I am crazy. Exactly crazy enough to do what I set my heart and mind on. So even if I fall apart a couple times along the way, I get to learn how to puck myself up, take the helping hands that are offered to me and learn from my mistakes. Its the only thing I can do.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Speak Now
Although I have already expressed how much I LOVE Taylor Swift, I simply cannot resist. HEr new album Speak Now was released last week and, in a nutshell, I feel my life is more complete. Alright that does sound ridiculously cheesy and stupid, but I am really excited right not. This CD has some of Taylor best work on it (I believe) and it is so personal, as she wrote every song on it! 
My personal favorite is the song "Mine" that was released quite a while ago. This song, more than anything, I think shows the evolution of Taylor as a person and an artist. Realistic and painfully sweet, it is a truer love song than most anything she has written before. The music video for the song is just as sweet. At the end, when Taylor's character get married and it shows flashes of her life with children and her husband, I nearly cried the first time I saw it. This is about the single most girly and sweet post I've ever done, so I think I'll just leave the link to the music video and call it a day.
Taylor Swift's Music Video "Mine": http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/08/27/taylor-swift-mine-music-video-premiere/
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
SNOW
The weather here in Utah is officially the PMS outlet for Mother Nature. The altitude and latitude we are at allows us to experience all four seasons in their fullness, albeit with a little bit of a twist. In the spring we have snow and snow and snow, gradually getting warmer, and then BAM, its summer and nice and hot. Thrown in between are days of wet and marshy grounds and rain and lots of wind that alternate with very hot and dry days and cold and snowy days. Once summer officially arrives, its hot, hot and hotter (although not humid) till the end of August. It will begin to cool down in September, with a smattering of very hot and very cold days, although it stays pretty warm. Then, one day it will decide in October that it really wants to be fall and it gets cold and sometimes snowy. Come November, the fall/winter weather will fight it out for a few weeks and then it will snow a foot overnight and be winter. Welcome to Utah...
I love it here, though. I like being able to experience all of the seasons, but winter is my favorite! Waking up to 6 in of snow this morning was awesome! That means that it is time to pull out my skinny jeans and boots and sweaters. I hear a lot of people complain about the cold, and I hear a lot of people who come to Utah specifically for the world famous snow and all the winter activities. Personally, I love so much about Winter. I love the holiday season and the excitement that carries you month to month. But the best thing really is the snow. I don't know particularly what about it I love so much, but I can try to explain.
Back in high school, I would get up at 5:30 every morning for swim practice. In the winter when I would leave, there would be no one else up or around. The streets were never plowed yet (which was sometimes a pain to drive in) and all was quiet. At that early hour, the sky was still dark and splattered with stars and light from the moon would glow off the new snow. Silence was thick and absent in the cold stillness, absorbed by the snowfall that blanketed the earth. Something about all of that was, and still is, absolutely mesmerizing.
I love it here, though. I like being able to experience all of the seasons, but winter is my favorite! Waking up to 6 in of snow this morning was awesome! That means that it is time to pull out my skinny jeans and boots and sweaters. I hear a lot of people complain about the cold, and I hear a lot of people who come to Utah specifically for the world famous snow and all the winter activities. Personally, I love so much about Winter. I love the holiday season and the excitement that carries you month to month. But the best thing really is the snow. I don't know particularly what about it I love so much, but I can try to explain.
Back in high school, I would get up at 5:30 every morning for swim practice. In the winter when I would leave, there would be no one else up or around. The streets were never plowed yet (which was sometimes a pain to drive in) and all was quiet. At that early hour, the sky was still dark and splattered with stars and light from the moon would glow off the new snow. Silence was thick and absent in the cold stillness, absorbed by the snowfall that blanketed the earth. Something about all of that was, and still is, absolutely mesmerizing.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Halloween
My family hates Halloween. There is there is not anything intrinsically negative about Fall, or some of the activities associated with Halloween. There is the matter of all things "Scary" that becomes a problem, however. I have a terribly active imagination and it is quite capable of terrifying me witless without any help. Because of this, I (and my family) tend to shun the majority of "Halloween" things like the plague. My sister and I have an inside joke that starting October 1st, we become social hermits for the month. It is the only way to avoid all of the scary movies, haunted houses and other detestables. I find that many people give me a hard time for this. What good does teasing me that I don't like scary things going to do than to annoy me? Its not going to make me change my mind, or give into peer pressure.
I do find that people mistake me and assume that I hate everything associated with Fall/Halloween. This is completely absurd! I LOVE to carve pumpkins, and am actually really good at it if I do say so myself. I also love to dress up, and usually go all out as this is the one time that I can get away with doing crazy and borderline inappropriate things. I love the crispness in the air, the distinctive slant of the sun and the beautiful colors of the changing leaves. I'm also one of those people who go out of their way when walking to make sure that I step on every leaf to hear the satisfying crunch!
Back to the aversion to scary things, but there is one interesting catch: I love to read horror novels. Now, I'm not a huge Stephen King fan, and I don't like gore, but I am a HUGE fan of all sorts of supernatural things. With that genre, the stories generally tend to fall into the horror category, but I love them anyway. So I guess that makes me a bit of a contradiction. Its not like that is anything new. I'm a blond physics major who is also a hard core athlete.....tell me something I don't know.
I do find that people mistake me and assume that I hate everything associated with Fall/Halloween. This is completely absurd! I LOVE to carve pumpkins, and am actually really good at it if I do say so myself. I also love to dress up, and usually go all out as this is the one time that I can get away with doing crazy and borderline inappropriate things. I love the crispness in the air, the distinctive slant of the sun and the beautiful colors of the changing leaves. I'm also one of those people who go out of their way when walking to make sure that I step on every leaf to hear the satisfying crunch!
Back to the aversion to scary things, but there is one interesting catch: I love to read horror novels. Now, I'm not a huge Stephen King fan, and I don't like gore, but I am a HUGE fan of all sorts of supernatural things. With that genre, the stories generally tend to fall into the horror category, but I love them anyway. So I guess that makes me a bit of a contradiction. Its not like that is anything new. I'm a blond physics major who is also a hard core athlete.....tell me something I don't know.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Waiting Game
So, life can be more than a little crazy at times. The worst part is knowing and having to accept at times, that things are out of your hands. Partially, to have gotten to this point is definitely a good thing. But the waiting kills me.....as I learn patience.
I had my interview for the Co-Op at NASA Johnson Space Center today. I turned in my application over six months ago, at this point. I didn't think there was realistically a chance that I still had a shot. When I got the email for an interview last weekend, I was literally crazed with happiness. Then the worry set in. I was worried that I might say something stupid, or not say what I meant. I was nervous that I would not present myself well. And the old worried returned with a vengeance. If I didn't get this position, what would I do with my life? Would that change what I do with my majors? Is this program even what I want to do with my life?
By the time last night rolled around and into this morning I had managed to work myself into a nervous and nauseated mess. I have this incredible talent of literally making myself physically ill with worry and was putting it to use with a vengeance. I had myself convinced that I was never going to get this position, and that it would save myself the disappointment if I just told the director that I was not interested anymore. I have never been a fan of big changes, and this one would definitely alter my life forever. It would just be easier to run from it than suffer the pain and humiliation of rejection.
Thankfully, I did nothing of the sort. Shortly after finding a nice empty room at the institute, my phone rang with a call from the director of the co-op program. The next half hour was......interesting. I felt that as I picked up the phone, my heart calmed down. I was still nervous, but paralyzed by fear. It was not necessarily easy to talk to the interviewer, but I found that I was able to answer the questions in a calm and thoughtful manner. She was polite and intrigued, and I think I presented my case for the position well. BUT (because there is always that new wave of doubt) she did imply that it would be difficult to place me. The majority of people that are hired for the program are engineers. I, however, (and somewhat obviously) am not an engineer. This would severely limit their ability to place me within the program, as I do not have the educational background or future in that aspect of their system. But in the program they do talk about how other majors are encouraged to apply, as it takes more than engineers to make NASA run.
Overall, I think it went very positively. There are always those small doubts and regrets of what I should have/could have said instead, but that is always the case. I choose to be positive. I choose to think that NASA would be lucky to have me. But in the end, this life altering decision is no longer in my hands. Its all down to waiting 2 weeks to hear anything back.
I had my interview for the Co-Op at NASA Johnson Space Center today. I turned in my application over six months ago, at this point. I didn't think there was realistically a chance that I still had a shot. When I got the email for an interview last weekend, I was literally crazed with happiness. Then the worry set in. I was worried that I might say something stupid, or not say what I meant. I was nervous that I would not present myself well. And the old worried returned with a vengeance. If I didn't get this position, what would I do with my life? Would that change what I do with my majors? Is this program even what I want to do with my life?
By the time last night rolled around and into this morning I had managed to work myself into a nervous and nauseated mess. I have this incredible talent of literally making myself physically ill with worry and was putting it to use with a vengeance. I had myself convinced that I was never going to get this position, and that it would save myself the disappointment if I just told the director that I was not interested anymore. I have never been a fan of big changes, and this one would definitely alter my life forever. It would just be easier to run from it than suffer the pain and humiliation of rejection.
Thankfully, I did nothing of the sort. Shortly after finding a nice empty room at the institute, my phone rang with a call from the director of the co-op program. The next half hour was......interesting. I felt that as I picked up the phone, my heart calmed down. I was still nervous, but paralyzed by fear. It was not necessarily easy to talk to the interviewer, but I found that I was able to answer the questions in a calm and thoughtful manner. She was polite and intrigued, and I think I presented my case for the position well. BUT (because there is always that new wave of doubt) she did imply that it would be difficult to place me. The majority of people that are hired for the program are engineers. I, however, (and somewhat obviously) am not an engineer. This would severely limit their ability to place me within the program, as I do not have the educational background or future in that aspect of their system. But in the program they do talk about how other majors are encouraged to apply, as it takes more than engineers to make NASA run.
Overall, I think it went very positively. There are always those small doubts and regrets of what I should have/could have said instead, but that is always the case. I choose to be positive. I choose to think that NASA would be lucky to have me. But in the end, this life altering decision is no longer in my hands. Its all down to waiting 2 weeks to hear anything back.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Doubt
Its easy to tell yourself you can't do something. Reason and logic allow us as humans to realize our limitations. Such imperfections are understandable; we are flawed and therefore so is our judgment. it would make perfect sense, then, to admit that something is beyond us. Is this the point of maturity? Are we meant to come to this conclusion and reach a steady, unchanging point in our life where we have achieved out full potential? Although it is understood that by the same flaws which limit out capabilities, we are limited in achieving the lowered expectations, there is some "optimum" level that we can achieve. What then? Is our purpose in life served? Do we simply fade to the background of our existence?
It would be easy to do this. It is much harder to be impossible. And I mean to actually be IMPOSSIBLE. If we can accept our limitations and understand how they affect us, but still chose to act and be motivated to achieve beyond them, what have we become? Have we transcended our limitations, or simply out-maneuvered our own benign acceptance of perceived reality?
Everything in life tells us NO. From the odds of being happily married, to getting a good job, to even doing well in school. Its a rough jungle out there, and the varied challenges continually thin the field of the worthy. Yet even then, impossible things happen all the time. Improbable as it is, mankind does not seem to be limited, as a whole, by the fact that it has limitations. Although this is an extremely optimistic point of view, the tale of our history is a testament to our attempts. Not all of it is pretty, and much is shameful. We do not often learn from our mistakes until we pay a cost far too great. Even despite this, progress marches on. And it even appears to have an exponentially accelerating rate.
The concepts of faith and hope are now the objects of consideration. We choose to be happy. Despite many great and terrible things which stem from every change that is wrought, the faith in a brighter future remains unblemished. Is man more than the sum of logical numbers? Is he not limited by statistics? Or are we simply far more capable than we have ever been given credit for? Because we have the ability to adapt and change, we seem to constantly push the limitations of the known, searching for something more. The only way the impossible is ever achieved is by trying. If you try to do the impossible and fall short, it cannot be a failure. We can on fail by accepting and never attempting to challenge the status quo. Because we can, we were meant to do it.
And that becomes the purpose of humanity. Individually it becomes our responsibility to reach beyond our doubt and strive to become more. Our true potential has yet to be reached. The only certainty of failure is when we fail to try.
It would be easy to do this. It is much harder to be impossible. And I mean to actually be IMPOSSIBLE. If we can accept our limitations and understand how they affect us, but still chose to act and be motivated to achieve beyond them, what have we become? Have we transcended our limitations, or simply out-maneuvered our own benign acceptance of perceived reality?
Everything in life tells us NO. From the odds of being happily married, to getting a good job, to even doing well in school. Its a rough jungle out there, and the varied challenges continually thin the field of the worthy. Yet even then, impossible things happen all the time. Improbable as it is, mankind does not seem to be limited, as a whole, by the fact that it has limitations. Although this is an extremely optimistic point of view, the tale of our history is a testament to our attempts. Not all of it is pretty, and much is shameful. We do not often learn from our mistakes until we pay a cost far too great. Even despite this, progress marches on. And it even appears to have an exponentially accelerating rate.
The concepts of faith and hope are now the objects of consideration. We choose to be happy. Despite many great and terrible things which stem from every change that is wrought, the faith in a brighter future remains unblemished. Is man more than the sum of logical numbers? Is he not limited by statistics? Or are we simply far more capable than we have ever been given credit for? Because we have the ability to adapt and change, we seem to constantly push the limitations of the known, searching for something more. The only way the impossible is ever achieved is by trying. If you try to do the impossible and fall short, it cannot be a failure. We can on fail by accepting and never attempting to challenge the status quo. Because we can, we were meant to do it.
And that becomes the purpose of humanity. Individually it becomes our responsibility to reach beyond our doubt and strive to become more. Our true potential has yet to be reached. The only certainty of failure is when we fail to try.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
You Made a Rebel of a Careless Man's Careful Daughter
I have to be completely honest. I LOVE Taylor Swift. I love her music, her hair, her fashion sense and her honesty. I relate to her music because she is singing about my life. She is going through the same things I do every day; she just puts it to music. She sings the soundtrack to my heart.
Ok, that is a little cheesy and stupid. But I really do love her music. Its the sound that just makes me happy. I can't explain it, and don't really care what anyone else thinks. Taylor is a sweet and amazing person who serves as a role model for so many. It is refreshing to see a honest, moral, decent person be praised for her worth in a world where all to often these are mocked and belittled.
Though much of her music is about fairy tale love and princesses, the high school experience and first loves, what really speaks from her music is LIFE. She sings about the trials of love, heartache, dreams and family. The songs are not just picked by her "people" for her to sing. She writes them all and sings them all because she lived them all. This is far more real than some popstar who sing music someone else wrote, that they have to fake emotions for. When Taylor sings about something, she believes every word and makes you believe as well.
Her latest single "Mine" is probably my new favorite song and I can't wait for her new album Speak Now which comes out October 25th. Power to the cute, innocent and happy blonds of the word. Thank you to Taylor for inspiring us!
Ok, that is a little cheesy and stupid. But I really do love her music. Its the sound that just makes me happy. I can't explain it, and don't really care what anyone else thinks. Taylor is a sweet and amazing person who serves as a role model for so many. It is refreshing to see a honest, moral, decent person be praised for her worth in a world where all to often these are mocked and belittled.
Though much of her music is about fairy tale love and princesses, the high school experience and first loves, what really speaks from her music is LIFE. She sings about the trials of love, heartache, dreams and family. The songs are not just picked by her "people" for her to sing. She writes them all and sings them all because she lived them all. This is far more real than some popstar who sing music someone else wrote, that they have to fake emotions for. When Taylor sings about something, she believes every word and makes you believe as well.
Her latest single "Mine" is probably my new favorite song and I can't wait for her new album Speak Now which comes out October 25th. Power to the cute, innocent and happy blonds of the word. Thank you to Taylor for inspiring us!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Bookworm
There are times when I feel I act like a normal person and do normal things. And then there are the times when I know that I am a crazy nerd. Sometimes these "nerd moments" catch me by surprise because it never occurred to me that other people don't do some of these things. I had a moment such as this yesterday.
I am a total and hopeless bookwork and bibliophile. Books are my one true love in this world. I have amassed a fairly decent collection over the last few years and have completely run out of space on my one bookshelf; this is even with the books stacked two rows deep and sideways on top of each other. Since I would be mortified if my bookshelf broke, I decided it was time to temporarily store away some of my books that I don't read as often. Although this was a painful process, I managed to to put a way a good stack, leaving my bookshelf unbroken and with a little more room for future additions.
After I had this stack of books to put in storage, I pulled out my computer so that I could document what books were where. As I was doing this, my brother walked in the room and immediately began to tease me. Apparently, as I was informed, it is not a common practice to catalog one's book collection and to label them with a label maker (with my name on the front inside cover). This second thing is really just a formality as no one besides myself is allowed to remove any of my books from the house. I was unaware that other people did not take the same care and organization with their books!
I explained the system to my brother, who just laughed and told me I was a nerd. I then proceeded to show him that I had to keep it organized so I could keep everything in line with my book list. This is a particular pride of mine. It is close to 15 pages now of book titles, organized by subject, predicted cost and immediate desirability, that I want to buy/own for my own personal collection. This presentation was also met with laughter and a smile.
Moments like these remind me how very different I am from most people in the world.
I am a total and hopeless bookwork and bibliophile. Books are my one true love in this world. I have amassed a fairly decent collection over the last few years and have completely run out of space on my one bookshelf; this is even with the books stacked two rows deep and sideways on top of each other. Since I would be mortified if my bookshelf broke, I decided it was time to temporarily store away some of my books that I don't read as often. Although this was a painful process, I managed to to put a way a good stack, leaving my bookshelf unbroken and with a little more room for future additions.
After I had this stack of books to put in storage, I pulled out my computer so that I could document what books were where. As I was doing this, my brother walked in the room and immediately began to tease me. Apparently, as I was informed, it is not a common practice to catalog one's book collection and to label them with a label maker (with my name on the front inside cover). This second thing is really just a formality as no one besides myself is allowed to remove any of my books from the house. I was unaware that other people did not take the same care and organization with their books!
I explained the system to my brother, who just laughed and told me I was a nerd. I then proceeded to show him that I had to keep it organized so I could keep everything in line with my book list. This is a particular pride of mine. It is close to 15 pages now of book titles, organized by subject, predicted cost and immediate desirability, that I want to buy/own for my own personal collection. This presentation was also met with laughter and a smile.
Moments like these remind me how very different I am from most people in the world.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Life as you do NOT know it
For a great majority of my life, I have assumed that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I followed all of the rules, and I made sure to do as I was told. I have always been a firm believer in rules; seeing exactly why they are implemented and agreeing with their logic. However, I have come to understand a simple truth that transcends this. Following the rules teaches you discipline, strength and moral courage. But not all rules are meant to be followed. Some are there to teach to you reach beyond them and decide who you are. Are you willing to put yourself out there and reach for what you desire? Or will you let yourself meander in the maze of mediocrity for the rest of a pathetic existence?
I declare a bold challenge to the world: I know who I am. I know what I stand for. I know who I want to become--So try and stop me. I dare you!
Look out world, cause here I come!
I declare a bold challenge to the world: I know who I am. I know what I stand for. I know who I want to become--So try and stop me. I dare you!
Look out world, cause here I come!
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